Umm Hello??

Where have I been??

I honestly forgot for a minute that I ever blogged. And now here I am while rocking one of the twins (you heard me, I had twins!) and reading all of my old posts and seeing how much I miss blogging and documenting all of life's little moments. I truly forgot all those sweet moments with Beau and I am so thankful I wrote them all out!

Ok so maybe an update is needed… I mean my last post was October 2013! Beau was just two, Tripp was 5 months old and we were selling our house and moving in with my parents…

So here I am now with FOUR kids… Beau is almost 4, Tripp just turned 2, and the twins are 8 weeks old...a new house (but really an olllld house)…a graduate with my master's…no longer shooting photography for a business…I still drink a lot of wine :)

-We lived with my parents for 6 weeks. The day we were supposed to close on selling our house, the lady who was buying got a call from her buyer backing out. SOOO I joked about seeing her house and we did and we loved it and bought it-- real life house swap!

-The same day that we closed on the new house, was the same day that Tripp got his helmet for his plagiocephaly (flat head). In which he wore for about 5 months. It was not fun but Tripp handled it well and his head rounded out just fine!

-That summer (2014) we went to San Marcos for a little "college reunion" weekend with old friends. Had such a blast!! Maybe too much fun…

-August 2nd, I graduated!!!! The most amazing feeling! I was filled with pride and every time I thought of my sons watching me walk across the stage I would start to cry…I was sooo emotional… :/

-A week later we went on our annual trip to Wimberley where I took a pregnancy test that came out positive. I started to cry. I wasn't sure if they were happy tears or scared tears. I knew I wanted three kids but I had just lined up a job and was ready to start working and just thought "ah, here we go again…" and we both agreed that we could handle one more baby! little did we know…

-About 4 weeks later we saw two little babies on the sonogram…WTF…

-Hardest pregnancy by far!! But I made it to 38 weeks (which is full term for twins) with little bed rest and they came out as healthy as can be! No NICU time which we are so thankful for!

AND THAT BRINGS US TO PRESENT DAY!

Here's pictures of allll that!

BabyTripp

Xmas Card attempt

Beau is 2.5 and Tripp is 6 months

Pictures by Carolyn Kipper, May 2014 Tripp had just turned 1

4th of July Parade (2014)

San Marcos College Reunion

Heath River and Jed August were born April 2, 2015

 Obviously, I have a billion more pictures but this is a good wrap up.

Things I've learned since having the twins:
-Patience, Patience, Patience
-This is just a season of our lives
-Continuing to give Beau and Tripp tons of attention makes a world of difference in their behavior
-I'm still in shock :)

Twin's birth story here.

Defeated

In class the other day we had to pick an emotion that we usually relate to and are comfortable with. My first instinct was "optimistic." Because in more situations I like to find the good in it. In most people, I like to find the good in him/her. I can find a lesson learned from any scenario and grow from it. I'm definitely not bubbly and positive all the time, but I'd like to think that a majority of my time, I'm optimistic. But as I was standing there, before it was my turn to speak, I wanted to break down in tears. I'm not feeling optimistic right now. I have a billion things going on and some of which I have no control over or have no idea what is going to happen. I feel defeated.

And I'm ok admitting that. I've seen so many women (myself included) trying to be perfect in every aspect of her life. Mom, Wife, Sex Goddess, Craft Maker, Pinterest Do-er, Body Builder, Chef, Student, Professional...No wonder we are tired most of the time. I very much find myself trying to do all of these things and do it to my fullest ability so that everything is perfect. I want my house to be perfect, not look like a day care. I want my kitchen to smell delicious and my husband to come home and say "Mmm somethin' smells good sugar!" And then praise my amazing meal. All while staring me up and down (because of course I have full makeup and hair done) and visually undressing me and making me feel as sexy as ever. I want my boys to look at me with admiration and just shower me with kisses knowing that they are so lucky to have a mommy like me. I want to get a 4.0. I want to perfect my business and my photography. I truly want all of those things. But it's so unrealistic. Especially since I do not work out at all!!!! HA! <--I was waking up at 4:30am every morning till I realized my vision was so blurry on my way to class that I almost got in an accident..had to let something go, and guess what was on the top of my list to go?? Physical workouts! ;) It's not unrealistic for me to achieve these things, its unrealistic for me to work so hard at it all at once and expect these results.

So I feel defeated. I feel defeated not because I'm not being the perfect wife or mom or sex goddess. But just defeated. Probably because I'm tired. I feel defeated...doesn't necessarily mean I am.

We sold our house--Yay!
Now what?? We don't know! That's one of those unknowns that I hate.
I can handle busy. I've been busy ever since I started grad school when Beau was 5 months old. I love busy. I can't handle sitting around for days and days. I prefer to be up and doing something.
But stress? I guess I can't handle that as well. I have had stressful times in my life and have handled them with my head held high. But this time, I'm feeling it...literally in my body I am feeling pain over this stress and it sucks.

So now what?--We're moving in with my parents. To some that may seem like a nightmare, and it may very well be. But I think it'll be fine. My parents live alone in their large home that my siblings and I grew up in. There is plenty of room. I'm not worried about crawling all over each other and constantly being on each other's nerves. I'm so lucky to even have parents that would offer me with my husband and two boys to come stay with them until we figure things out.

Tripp needs a helmet. This one was most of the reason why I wanted to break down in tears in class. When I took him to the doctor to get his head measured, I just kept thinking "We don't belong here. MY baby is perfect and doesn't need any sort of brace."--I also think it hit me a bit harder bringing me back to when I had to have a back brace for my scoliosis at 12. <--talk about insecure years! I spoke with a friend who had to have her daughter in a helmet and she gave me so much peace. She talked as if it was no big deal (which it truly isn't) and that she was so glad they did it. She was so encouraging! So we are in the process of getting him a helmet. (Poor baby's head is just flat as a pancake!! He gets comfy on his back for bed and does not move an inch through the night!-Much different from my very active Beau!) He will have to wear it 23 hours a day... they say it's harder for the parents than the baby. He won't even notice it. And if ya think about it, it'll keep his little head warm through the winter! :)
*positive thinking, positive thinking, positive thinking*

So with all of that said..packing..studying..counseling..photography..2 year old, whiney Beau..money issues..money issues..money issues..I decided to get out my camera and snap some good ones of Beau before we left for school this morning. I also sat down and edited some pictures from Tripp's monthly pictures that I've been slacking on...

August

August has been a busy month for us. There's been a lot of trips to the park. I started working again and my fall semester is about to start, so I've been preparing for that. And Beau is still my little crazy kid who occasionally pouts! -And by occasionally I mean, 90% of the time :)  Our wonderful washing machine decided to flood half our living room, so there's that...fun stuff!

After Beau's bday on the 4th, we took a little family vacay to Wimberley for a few days. We've decided that Wimberley is going to be an annual trip for us. I can't tell you how much we LOVE the hill country and strangely feel like we're home when we're there. (We did live there for 5 years and most of our relationship together-Joseph and I) We spent those few, short days enjoying the river, driving around, eating bbq and seeing our old house in Austin. We took the boys on a short tour of San Marcos, but didn't get to spend much time there. Oh I love that place! I was nervous that Beau wasn't going to sleep well in a different place but he did awesome! We made him a pallet on the floor of our VERY tiny cabin and he slept great! Tripp also slept through the night for the first time!!! All that river wore him out! 7pm-7am! It was awesome! Joseph and I got to spend some time together after the boys went to sleep, drinking wine and enjoying the scenery. It was truly the most relaxing and perfect trip for us. So peaceful.

Tripp is into googling and making funny faces..I love them. He's still the best baby! Only cries a tad when he's hungry, otherwise just sits there and enjoys the fan! :)

Beau starts school next week :( so I've been trying to spend a lot of time with him one-on-one. We've been going on walks on the weekends when Tripp and Joseph nap. We've been playing outside together when Tripp is napping inside during the weekdays. There's a lot of "WHATS DAT!?" and pointing and "WHAT A MESS!" and "OH GOSH!" And tons of movie watching and snuggling together. I can't believe he's 2 and going to preschool!!! He has become very aware of the camera and runs away from me ALL the time. What happened to my little model!? ;)
**All pictures are SOOC as I find I have NO time to edit these days! (except clients..I'm back to work!)